ni diario ni J

there are things i just can't let go
i wanna stare at them
so that they won't escape from me
i hold it tightly
i seize it tensely
so that i make myself nervous
i know that i need to be more relaxed
but i just can't
it seems that every movement and every gesture i make is killing me
they are killing me softly
what can i do
i don't know either
but i do know that if i keep doing this
it won't get any better
it'll just stop me moving forward
so i say
i'll make some progress
i promiss
and i'll do it
well
after all these murmurings
all i need is to gat back to my books and start the second round